Rainbow Spritz Cookies-or How I Nearly Killed Pork Chop

Okay, I know this sort of looks like bugs, but they are cookies.  I am not impressed either.

 Okay before you start to read this, I must say something.  I wrote this the day after I baked these, and it seems I must have been in a very foul mood.  I have been feeling sort of down lately, my depression has been playing with me.  I think I have been doing really well, but it seems that some days I just cannot shake it and it shows.  I still struggle some days, and I guess it will always be a struggle.  Also poor Hubby tries his hardest to treat me like a normal person, which he does a really great job of.  He goes above and beyond in most things. ( lets not mention the socks he still leaves lying around to taunt me.) And Pork Chop knows no better yet, so the looks he gives me just make me chuckle.  I mean I really am teaching him how to treat women, because if he ends up with a girl half as crazy as me, she is so going to be one lucky gal.

  So please try to understand that I am not crazy, this post just shows one of my days where I wanted to hide from it and I obviously didn't.  So I did what I usually do, I try to make a joke out of it.  So if you laugh, great, I sort of made it work.  And if not and I sound like a loon, well I am a loon, and it shows more in this post I guess.  I have drugs people, good drugs, and they just are not working 100% right now.  But as of today I feel better. Sort of.

  I just wanted to share that.  Not sure why, but I felt the need to let you know that I struggle, and not every day is a great one. And maybe this is my PSA to you all, that not everyone is perfect.  I am so not, just ask Hubby.  Do you know when the last time I vacuumed was, I mean really cleaned this place?  Me neither.  I do am awesome job of cleaning what I need to, but an over all cleaning, well lest just say it has been a while.  So you can sort of see that even though it looks like I have it all together ( I know, you never thought that) I don't.  I fly by the seat of my pants, and Pork Chop doesn't get gourmet diners, he eats alpha-getties more than I would like to admit, but it works for us.  And he is loved and mostly happy, I mean you cannot take a 7 year old kids word for it. He would probably tell you we are horrible parents.  We don't let him play x box 24 hours a day, make him brush his teeth and yep, even try to get him to eat veggies.  But we are doing the best we can.  And I am totally rambling, and have lost track of where this was going.

  So just remember I am human, and am totally not perfect.  And my baking is an outlet, maybe the wrong one some days, but it works for me.  Sometimes, again, some times I just want to eat store bought stuff, so I do and I feel better.

 So sorry for the total off topic ramble, but here is my super happy post.

  I know.

  I tried.
 
  Anyway.

 So do you ever have those days where you think about the day ending at work, then getting home and sitting on the sofa and watching trash TV?  And watching trash TV while eating junk.  You know the kind of day I'm talking about right?  You don't have to actually admit it, we have all been there.  And you know what, those days really seem to come more often in the colder months.

The dough, yuck!

  So I had one of those days and I was all set to make it work for me.  Hubby was going to be working late, making it a perfect night for me and Pork Chop to just be quiet.  I looked up movies and planned to race home and get him, head to the theater, load him up with popcorn, get some poutine and watch a crummy kids movie.  I mean people it would have be great; a whole hour and a half of poutine and sitting.  My dreams really are very small you know.

  So anyway I rush to daycare, over an hour early, to grab Pork Chop.  I get him in the car and say "I was thinking of going to the movies to see "_____""  And that little bugger just said "No thank you, but thanks for asking." ( I am not going to admit the movie, it may taint things a bit, but it was no blockbuster that's for sure.)

  What the #$%@%$!  This seriously has to be the most annoyingly cute kid ever.  Who taught him to be polite, and who taught him to turn down a movie.  I was all like, "Oh okay, well let's head home."  In my mind I was thinking, so I had a whole hour to myself I could have watched trash TV and ate junk, but now it's going to be cartoons and whatnot.  Sigh, I cannot win.

Remember his cute face, I may have killed him by the end of this post.

  So when we get home I ask Pork Chop what he would like to do, it is our night to bond and all with Hubby at work.  He of coarse says he wants to play X Box.  No I said we have to do something.  How about a craft?   Play a board game?  Read a book?  Anything?  "No thank you."  I seriously considered breaking his legs at this point.  Only because he gets to play a lot of video games and I really want to cut down, and wanted to spend some quality time with him.  What?  Watching a movie and eating poutine is quality time! And it seemed like the right thing to do, being a working parent and all.  Right?

  So as any sane mother would do, I took a deep breath and told him what I wanted to do.  I said I was going to make something and did he want to help.  I told him I was going to make bread and he was all "No thank you, I want to make cookies."  I nearly snapped.  I mean, I love cookies, I love baking, but the only thing I had planned was as simple bread thingy.  So I stupidly ask, "what kind of cookies?"  I was chanting "chocolate chip, chocolate chip, chocolate chip!"  He was not having any of it.  "Rainbow cookies"  was his reply.

Oh God, the gross "log" of dough!

  Um, well, oh.......

 So I had to think fast, I didn't have M&M's, which would have made the chocolate chip cookie work, so I panicked.  I then remembered he loved the cookie gun ( spritz cookie maker) and I said, " what about cookie gun rainbow cookies?"  The look on his face was enough, I sort of won.

  And there you have it. How my night of pigging out on poutine and watching a movie was turned into a night of me making cookies I hate.  I mean I figure these were the only cookies I have ever made that Hubby ate, so at least we had that going for us.

  So I set to getting everything out.  Pork Chop washed his hands, proceeded to scratch his face, and washed his hands again, then got his little stool out so he could do the measuring.

He was all, "I'm making cookies!"  Then he made 5 and was done. Sigh.

  We started with the flour, which if I have not mentioned before, Pork Chop thinks smells like the most amazing thing ever.  I sort of worry when he opens the jar and sticks his face in, inhaling and making that "ooh ya" sound.  It's wrong, but you know, it could be worse right?  He tried to convince me once that my mom let's him eat flour, she was all "oh no I didn't!"  I know mom, he may be prone to telling little white lies. I have no idea where he may have gotten that habit from.

  So Porky Chop measured out the flour, the sugar, the salt, the baking powder and cracked two eggs.  Without getting shells in the bowl. I was really proud.  Then we move to the other side of the kitchen to mix it all together, he likes to work the controls on the mixer.  So once all that was done we had to make it rainbow.
We used the same recipe I used here, just adding Amereicolor soft food gel paste to colour it.


 I let him pick out three colours and set about getting the dough out of the bowl.  I made the mistake of saying it would be like playing with play doh.  He proceeded to grab a ball of dough and start squishing it.  I tried to tell him we don't play with cookie dough too much or the butter will melt, but since I had stupidly said play doh, it went right over his head.

I don't know why I felt this post needed two pictures of the gross bug like cookies.

  So he of coarse gave up after a minute and I finished mixing the three colours.  I made them into sort of a log and rolled it all together.  Then we got out the cookie gun and I cut a piece of the three colour log of dough ( I know, log sounds wrong)  and rolled it thinner to fit into the gun.  Pork Chop did the first five cookies then gave up because of his little hands. So I was stuck finishing the darn things all by myself.  At least he stood there and yelled "reload!" for me after each squeeze.  Which is not as helpful as it sounds. I could have been poutine people, but oh no, I'm squeezing out 100 rainbow cookies that I hate.

  Remind me again why I wanted kids?

  So once they were all done, I decided that I wanted to put some glaze icing on some.  I had a bit left over in the fridge and just drizzled it on.  I think they taste better with the glaze, and if I wasn't so lazy I so would have put black sprinkles on these to make them into caterpillars.  Don't they look like the right shape for that? Then I thought the guys at work are not going to want to eat bug cookies, at least not when they sort of really look like gross bugs.  So you know, at least I have and idea for next time.

The glaze didn't make them look any better, look at that one in the bottom right corner.  It looks more buggy than the rest.

  And there you have it, how I got screwed out of a quiet night of cartoons and poutine.  Pork Chop is lucky he is cute, or he would be in a wheelchair now.

  Also it should be noted in the labels, I started one "how I almost killed Pork Chop" because you know that may become a recurring theme in the coming years.